Kameron Russell

Walking in to the hospital was difficult. I was so numb to everything! I didnt know what to expect, I was hanging on to the slightest glimmer of hope as tight as I could. We washed up and were sent in to see our little boy. The Dr was waiting for us and immediately sat us down to give us the worst news I have ever had to hear. My little boy was bleeding somewhere in his tiny body. He said it was most likely pooling in his brain, because he had had seizures and there was not many other places it would go in a baby his size. They had been giving him multiple blood transfusions and blood products to help with clotting. While we were there, Kameron had blood go to his lungs. He coughed up blood into his tiny breathing tube twice. He looked so dark and even though he was heavily sedated he looked like he was in so much pain. My heart ached for him. My child was in so much pain and I couldnt kiss it away!
We had made the decision that we needed to take him off life support. Everything that could be done for him had been exhausted. He did not need to suffer any longer. We asked for them to keep him with us until both our parents could get there. Once our parents were there, we were able to have some privacy and Clint gave Kameron a little blessing before the took him off.
We decided we did not want to see them remove his tubes and waited for them to bring him to us in a tiny room just down the hall.
Waiting for Kameron was long and we all sat in silence. The nurse brought him in all bundled up and wearing a little blue hat. She placed him in my arms and tears flowed freely down. I couldnt believe I was holding my sweet sweet Kam. He looked so peaceful, just like a sleeping little doll. I was able to kiss his little fingers and caress his precious face. I even snuck in a little bum squish!
We all held him and said our little goodbyes to him. The nurse was so nice and even said a prayer for us while I stared at my amazing son.
We got some pictures and the hospital told us they would make us a little memory packet, including little molds of his hands and feet. We left the hospital that night with our hearts broken but we know he is in a better place. He is our little guardian angel! He needs to watch over his sister, help her be strong. He was her escort to us. Such a big brother!