Another Milestone

First off, Kassidy weighs 1 lb 13 oz. She is up to 8 ml of milk, she likes to eat!! YAY!! She is doing really well, her Dr said to look at her you wouldnt think anything was wrong, until... you see her x-rays. She is having a hard time with her lungs. She still has a yeast inf in them and a bacteria inf. She is on antibiotics for them and Dr says long term side effects are scarring of the lungs, but on the plus side she is small enough that her body will regrow lung tissue (there is about an 8 year span for children to do this) In order to get her off the vent. her Dr said she will need a steroid inj. Side effects of that are when she is older and retested (as in develomental testing) she could score lower. But, long term use of the vent causes lower tests scores as well. Kinda a catch 22. Also, there is the chance of allergies and asthma. She already has a huge family history of those so that is not a huge shocker! But she is hangin in there. She is still known as the little diva on the block!! I wouldnt have it any other way.
Now for the good story!!
Yesterday was magical! I finally took Sam to school, its true he knows how to get me to let him stay home. Anyways, after dropping him off, I decided to head to Salt Lake to see Kassidy. I was a little nervous to drive by myself that far, since I am a bit of a freak when it comes to driving, but I did it! I got there around 9:30 and while I was there I got to change her bum and take her temp. Then her Dr came in for their rounds, which is kinda like greys anatomy, they all stand around her bed and talk about her. I love being there for that, but the information is mind numbing. I asked her Dr when she thinks I could hold her and she said "why not today?"
WHAT!!? REALLY?! She said they were waiting for her to be stable on her new ventilator and then it would be alright for us to hold her. I was just like a little kid on Christmas morning, SO EXCITED!!
The nurse and the respiratory therapist decided to retape her tube to face first. While they were taking off the tape, which was really stuck on there, Kassidy didnt like that too much. Her heart rate and oxygen sats kept dipping down and her little face was pained. I ached for her, so I snuck my hands in there and held her hands to her body and for the rest of the time she was calm. The nurse said, we should have had you do that from the beginning! Such an amazing feeling, knowing that I was able to comfort her.
While the tape was off, I did get to see her entire face, what a beautiful little girl! She is so perfect. Looking at her made me think of my Kameron. I think they look alot alike.
I miss him......
We did a skin to skin hold, so I had to get into a gown. Then I just scooped her up and snuggled her right to my chest! It was amazing!! She tolerated it so well! I was so afraid I was going to break her or hurt her, but we just snuggled right into each other. It felt perfect, magical....
I got to hold her for about 10 minutes and then her little body got too cold so I had to put her back. As I did, I got to kiss her little head too!!
I did not bring in my phone or camera, so the nurse was kind enough to take some with her camera. So pictures to come soon!!
Later that night, Clint and I went back down to have a pizza party with some of the other families there. I was hesitant at first, but so glad I went. We started off with introductions, which I kinda dread. It felt like an AA meeting, but there were 3 other parents there with babies born at 24 weeks and were real close to going home! They gave us hope! We have such a long road ahead of us, 4-6 months. Im sure once she is home, we will look back upon this time and it will be but a small moment. I think I am starting to see a glimmer of light there at the end! Holding her made me feel like we can do this!