Surprise!!

I woke up this morning in a funk. I kinda felt like I had hit a wall. I was missin Kameron and wishin I had Kassidy home to snuggle. So I pretty much spent the morning crying. I decided maybe I should just sit in a bubble bath and relax, let myself calm down. Clint called to check on Kassidy in the mean time. That is when my morning turned into excitement! (Its crazy how fast my emotions change now a days)
Anyways, they told us they took Kassidy off the ventilator this morning!!! OH MY GOSH!! Are you freaking kidding me?! I thought it was still a couple days away. Little mad they didnt call and tell us, but i'll let it slide because woo hoo she is now on cpap!!! No more tube down the throat, well I take that back she still has a feeding tube, but not the same....We were so surprised!! We hurried and got dressed and drove down to see her. I could not even wait!! They said she was being so feisty this morning and kept pulling at her tube. She was kinda that way yesterday too and doing her silent cry. So the NNP came in and said "lets pull that tube out of there" and she has been happy and doing good ever since! Little struggles, but nothing that she cant handle!! The only downside to the cpap is it covers up more of her face. I was wishin to see those little lips. They have to ween her down on this and then she will be on the high flow, which is just a nasal cannula. That should hopefully take a week or so. Such big news today!!

She also had fer first eye exam last week and everything looked like they expected. Still immature vessels, but they will follow up every week until she goes home. They have great eye Dr's there that are world renowned. They monitor so closely because the vessels could grow too fast causing an increase in pressure which in turn causes the retina to detach=blindness. It is called ROP, retinopathy of prematurity. She is at an extremely high chance of this, but if they catch it she can have lasik and hopefully help it. So my nerves will be on end each day she has this test, just like the brain ultrasounds. I just pray for gradual steady growth!!

She is just doing wonderfully, amazing us all by tolerating her feeds, breathing well, having normal bowel, heart and lung sounds. Also she has steady head growth and weighs a whopping 3 lbs 5 oz. My big girl!!

We spent about 5 hours with her today and loved every minute! She had her nurse "L" today which is always a good time. She is hilarious!! She also got a new roommate today. He is a week younger than her and his parents are one of the couples we really enjoy. I read 3 stories to her, which she loved and even put Clint to sleep, seriously the man can sleep anywhere.
It was fun being there today, just what I needed to turn my frown upside down!!

So, it looks a little scary, but it is wonderful!! I think it kinda looks like head gear, haha. We even got to hear little squeaks out of her today. Now that the tube is gone she can find her voice. Can not wait to hear her cry!!! Music to my ears!!

The new machine, smaller and quieter.

The old machine

Her little urine cup of bows. I bought her red white and blue ones so she could be festive. Hopefully she gets off the cpap soon so she can accessorize again. :)

Kassidy's stuff. The brown bear is her 1 month birthday present from nurse "M"

My mom made her princess sign and the pink bear is from a friend, it is wearing her little sunglasses from when she was under the bili lights.

Snuggles

I got to hold Kassidy last night, which was incredible!! I have not held her for 3 1/2 weeks. I was so excited all day long! We were told we could hold her on Sunday, but we ended up not having our primary nurse that day (which I will not say why because it ticks me off) Then we were told we could hold her Monday, but the nurse went to ask the nurse practioner if I had to gown up still and she said I couldnt hold her without a doctors order. So Tuesday during rounds the Dr gave the order I could hold her everyday, but he will leave it up to the nurses. Our nurses and us decided we would do only once or twice a week for now. She is trying to do so much on her own right now, we dont want to over stimulate her or stress her out. 1 day a week is better than 0...

She felt so much bigger, not just a blanket with a head!! She did so well, Looked around and was so alert and calm. She tolerated about 15 minutes and then she started to drop her oxygen. We put her back in her islet and it came back up. She did so good and I was so happy! I loved kissin her fingers and her sweet little head. I cherish these small special snuggles with her.

We also had our parent to parent night. There is 2 families that we have been getting to know pretty good. We got to see their babies last night. They are all such fighters and so adorable. We are all going through different hurdles, yet we all know exactly how the other feels. I am amazed with all of us. It takes a special child to make it through what these babies go through, but it also takes special parents. I never thought it would be me. I have learned alot about myself.

I am able to endure this, this trial is not going to break me. There is always sunshine through the rain. Sometimes it is just covered by clouds.

I am grateful to have a supportive family and an even more amazing husband. Not all the women there have a supportive spouse, which breaks my heart.

She had a couple moments last night where her heart rate would drop and she would stop breathing (like hold her breath) Can you say SCARY!!! Our favorite nurse was working and was so calm, she said just stimulate her by flicking her feet and rubbing her back. She told us to just watch her color and her bodys signals, since we wont have a machine when we go home! WHAT??!! Shes gonna do this at home? Oh man do I need to prepare better for that.

This is Nurse "M" So amazing!!!

Wild Hog's

Happy fathers day to my dad, father in law and to Clint! 3 of the greatest men I know!!!
I have been so so excited for this day!! I had the worlds greatest gift for Clint and he had no idea! I love a good surprise!! Remember talk about the motorcycle gang in my family and how Clint was only an honorary member? Well, he became an official member Sunday! I had my brother and dad find Clint a dirt bike, since I have no idea what I would be looking for. Daren found him a bike off KSL, a Yamaha 250. Thats all I know, oh and it is blue! :)
I have been planning this for 2 weeks and have been so excited!!! Daren brought it over to my parents house and Cooper helped me out by taking Clint on a golf cart ride around the block so we could get the bike in my dads shed. Clint was so clueless, I loved it!!Leaving for their golf cart ride. Sam and Luke crack me up. (little side note, they are TROUBLE together.)They came back and we gave my dad his gifts, so that we could do the surprise!! Cooper said lets all go ride bikes!! Daren then proceeded to pick out who got what bike, everyone had one but Clint. Clint being the sport he is said he would just help get them out!! He opened the shed door and said "Who got a new bike?" We all said "you did!!!" He was speechless, not really sure how to react. I kinda expected him to jump up and down and scream or somethin, but no he had to be the manly man. Inside he was though, I could tell!!Here is the bike....Finally, his own toy!! He deserves something fun! I hope he can go out with the boys and enjoy, he needs a release. I love you Clint, you are an amazing daddy and I hope you know how much I admire you. You are amazing! Happy Fathers Day......Clint was pretty much in heaven. He rode around in circles for a couple hours that night. Had to go back Monday to ride it again too. The guys already have a plan to go riding on Saturday. Im so glad he loves it.

Ok, on a different note. I have never riden a motorcycle. Pretty much have a phobia of anything that could kill me or seriously harm me. Not much of a risk taker Yes, my siblings grew up on them, but by the time I came along my folks were over that I guess because I never learned. So the following pictures are of me overcoming a fear, after much coaxing. My dad pretty much picked me up and put me on it. No picture of that though, thank goodness! Yeah, it was pretty fun, maybe I say maybe I would do it again!

Kunz Family Reunion

Today we had my Kunz family reunion. This is my dad's side of the family. It was such a nice day, they had a fun splash pad there and of course we went home with wonderful reunion prizes! We were suprised to see my grandma there, we thought she was not going to be able to come down from Washington. Just wish she could've stayed longer to come with us to visit Kassidy.
My parents happened to have tickets to the Beach Boys and a car show this weekend so I think we were pretty good children to all go and represent!! Props to us!
All of us grandkids and great grandkids with Grandma. Just missing Kassidy and Matt......All of my grandmas brothers and sisters. Such an amazing family! Love them allLittle buddies, Luke and Sam. They were running back and forth on the table tops, sheesh Clint control your kid! :)My cute little freckle face! CooperLukeSam was so funny at the splash pad, he was unsure at first, but then loved it. We being such wonderful parents, forgot a towel and sunblock. He did have a change of clothes though, just no underwear. Oh well.......
I love this last picture, Gotta love water up the tush!

Day 50/Gestational age 31

Wednesday I went to visit Kassidy, Clint escorted me but didnt go in because he has been feeling sick. We also stayed for a parent to parent pizza party. I enjoyed it, nice to be with people going through the same thing. When you tell your story they understand exactly what you are feeling. There was even a lady there who had twins, a boy and a girl at 23 weeks and her little boy died at day 2. Her little girl is now close to going home. She gave us hope......
I am very happy to report lil miss K is now on the conventional ventilator! HOORAY! She is doing very well with breathing on her own, this machine allows her to do that but helps her if she forgets.
She weighs 2 lb 15 oz. and they turned off her humidity in her islet yesterday. That should help dry her out and keep the bad bugs from growing!! She is on her antibiotics til Tuesday and is getting albuterol treatments every 6 hours to help her lungs. Once the meds are done they are going to give her steroids to help get her off the vent entirely. So hopefully all goes according to plan. One thing she is doing that freaks me out is she is having bronchospasms, which makes her heart rate drop like into the 90's, then it comes back up. They are not too worried because she is correcting it herself and they hope the albuterol and steroids will help. Her poor little lungs.....
She will also start her eye exams and visits with a physical therapist with in the next couple weeks. She is at risk for having some eye problems because of being on the vent for so long, but they said if it is too bad she'll just have lasik eye surgery before she comes home. The Physical therapist will help with range of motion so she is not so stiff. They will actually come to the house once she comes home too.
She is tolerating her feeds and is growing just like she should be.
Friday I spent the morning with her and we had a special bonding moment. When I got there she had been up and down on her oxygen and was kinda being a wild child. Since I couldnt hold her I decided to just read to her. I Didnt have anything to read but the people magazine, so she got to hear all about the latest gossip. It mellowed her out and stablized her so well, I read her 2 magazines cover to cover. She loved hearing mommy so close and the girl loves her gossip. All the nurses walking by kept laughing, but hey whatever works right? I hated to leave her yesterday, I cant wait for our girl days at home.
Nurse "M" took some great pictures for us again this week. And I made her change her bow, she has been wearing pink long enough, the girl needs to accessorize....
She has started to suck a little, so she likes her little binkee every once in awhile....

Pretty dang cute!

Happy Birthday Debbie!

So I am a little late in this post......Happy birthday to my wonderful, amazing sister! Pretty much love your guts!!!
We had a fun party for her at my mom and dad's. Love a good party that I can theme out. I saw these cupcakes and had to run with the whole rainbow idea! Just a small disclaimer though heavy food coloring changes your poo colors! hahahaWe had rainbow juice, plates, napkins and horns. So fun! Next years big 4-0 party should be even greater!! We, as in the boys, rode motorcycles in the back field too. They are their own motorcycle gang. Cooper is president, Clint is just honorary until he can get his own bike.....CooperDaren, Luke and SamSam and Clint. I love this picture, Sam is such a goof!!