Gestational Week 29/ 5 weeks old

HOLY COW! Cant even believe it has been 5 weeks!! We are just treking right along, taking each day as they come. Still have our good ones and our bad ones, but the good ones are out numbering the bad! So Woo Hoo!

Kassidy is doing well. Monday we got to hold her, which we both loved and one of her favorite nurses came back from vacation that night! I really cant express how wonderful these ladies are!! Nurse "M" is so thoughtful. She brought Kassidy a 1 month old little present. A teddy bear and a little book! It was darling! She also made her a cute banner that night to hang by her bed and a set of new footprints for us. She has the most perfect little toes and feet. Everyone there commented on them!

She had another trach aspirate done over the weekend and on Monday they found that she still has psuedomonas growing. They thought that maybe it was just colonized to her lungs and so after she finished her antibiotics they pulled her pic line (which was monday the day I held her) She was doing so well, all the nurses were surprised, until Tuesday morning. We got a phone call saying she was not being herself (sassy Kassi) kind of lethargic. No fighting. (Hate that word lethargic, by the way.) So they thought that she was starting to actually get sick from the infection that was in her lungs or it could have spread to her blood when they pulled the pic line. I couldnt help but feel it was because I held her the day before or maybe it was from my milk. The nurse reassured me that it wasnt either, but I still cant help but blame myself. If only there was something I could do, could have done. You know, the shoulda coulda wouldas!! I have those alot these days.

So they started her on antibiotics again, a higher stronger dosing and stopped her feedings so that they could get into her system. The pic line has to be put back in again too (today). Poor thing......Completely scared me even though they said "dont worry" and "we expected this" still makes my heart drop. She did return to her normal sassy self by the afternoon, once her antibiotics got going. Plus her lab work came back good. Her viral panel is still negative, which means it is treatable because it is just a bacteria. Her yeast/fungal infection is gone......Needless to say though, I had another break down a work. I am lucky that I have such great co-workers that get me through it.

Since Tuesday was our anniversary we went to dinner at Corbins (YUM!!) and Clints parents went down to visit her. I love going to see her and all, but sometimes it is nice to just have a break from it. I feel bad even saying that but we definetly needed to be together just the 2 of us. It was our first date since all this has happened. Anyways, Clint was super romantic this year and bought me a rolling pin! (I really am super excited about it because I have been asking for one for a while, Sam's play dough one just wasnt cuttin it anymore.) Thanks babe!

So Wednesday, we headed down to see her because she had been put into an isolation room that day. They had the infection control team from primarys come consult on her and they decided since she has had this for a long time and cant seem to get rid of it that she needed to be isolated. Precaution for the safety of other babies and herself. They reassured us she isnt any sicker its just being overly cautious. I think it is because she likes all the attention, because her nurse has to stay in the room with her and can not leave AT ALL. Kassidy doesnt like to share. :)
That room is really small and she has to be in there for 2 weeks. We have to gown and glove up if we wanna touch her. They advised not to have any other visitors than us for these 2 weeks too. Little rough for the grandparents, but it will go by fast!

Yesterday was her repeat head ultrasound and blood work. We were so nervous and scared. I am the most concerned about her head out of everything else. Her nurse said not to be because it is something they cant prevent or treat. If its gonna bleed it will just happen. I said that is exactly the reason why it worries me so much. Everything else can be fixed, her head can not. I cannot describe how bad I dread these ultrasounds. The amount of fear in me should have turned my hair white. Also, her hematacrit had dropped the night before (which is what happened to Kameron) So I was even more worried because it could be that there is more bleeding in the brain or it could be that she is low from all the blood draws and because she has this infection that eats away at her red blood cells. The nurse was pretty confident it was because of the lesser. She has had this happen before and it was not horribly low, but it needed to be higher to fight off the infection. So she had a transfusion again. I believe that makes number 6.

We were so nervous to get the results that we seriously had a game plan. Clint was not to call me at all yesterday unless the hospital called and we wouldnt call to check on her until we were both home and we could hear it from nurse "M". Well, we got home and still no phone call from the hospital which is good, no news is usually good news. We went grocery shopping (it was looking a little bare in our house) and finally by 9:00 we called to see how things went.......
It went good!! Her ultrasound showed a little increase in the fluid around her head, but nothing significant. Her bleeds are there but unchanged! So they should absorb back! The process is slow so we shoud not expect it to be completely gone yet. Her lab work was perfect and her infection is finally starting to clear up! Her oxygen was down to 32-38 today as well!!! She weighs 2 lbs 4 oz now too!

I am so proud of my little fighter. Thank you Kassidy for staying so strong! Thank you to Kameron for watching over her and for the Lord carrying her through this! Our hearts are full again.